The boy who sent me out of the mines seems not to have held a grudge against me, for today he brought me (along with several other people) a drink he made all by himself. It was very nice of him!
Unfortunately, when I tasted the drink and immediately recognized it as a kind that was several times tested in order to see if my behavior could be improved, suddenly I was back home with you and Steelhead was nowhere around and it was just as though I had never been lost and I miss you and I miss you so much and I apologize for the run-on sentence. What I mean to say is that my memories were, at the moment, too much to bear, and as soon as I could process the fact that they were only memories and I was actually someplace else, my guilt was too much to bear. I think some people were speaking to me at the time, and I think perhaps I tried to get up and go somewhere, but I can't be sure and it isn't important. I must have walked some more afterward, because I'm no longer in the place where I was given the drink, but I don't remember walking. I remember being with you, and I remember all the things I've ever done to make you need to correct me with tonics and pills, and I remember that I still do those things even now. Do you think that while I'm here I should look for more pills and tonics and try them on myself to see if they help me? I do, as you know, want more than anything else in the world to be a good daughter to impeccable parents like you.
It's a bit sad that it took a drink to remind me how much I love you.
Love always and forever and ever,
Your Shaqad
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